Wednesday, December 21, 2011

How to wrap a Christmas Present

Six steps: elegant instructions for wrapping an elegant present and preserving peace in the home:

1. Prepare the wrapping surface: the dining table:
1a. Move the pile of borrowed books and a Christmas table decoration to a chair
1b. Move the unopened boxes of Christmas cards (to be opened, signed, addressed, and mailed next year?) and another decoration to another chair.
1c. Ribbon-hang the received Christmas cards:
1c(1). Go to the garage for hammer, three brads, and the step stool.
1c(2). If not already in hand, get the three red ribbons. If already in hand, go to 1c(3).
1c(3). Gently tap the ribbon into the pillar, preferably into last year's hole.
1c(4). Return hammer and step stool.
1c(5). Go to office for stapler.
1c(6). Staple cards to ribbons.
1c(7). Return stapler. If you're thinking ahead, get the scotch tape.
1c(8). Recycle envelopes, but save the return addresses if people have moved.
1c(9). While saving addresses, respond to sleeping-flailing-husband's dumping entire mug of mocha in the living room. (Give thanks that it is now hardwood and not carpet; otherwise go through the carpet cleaner exercise.) For brevity, the clean-up steps are not detailed here.
1d. Move other miscellaneous paper, pens, and reading glasses to nook table.
2. Re-warm tea.
3. Stop to blog on how to wrap a present.
4. Take a Tylenol for headache if needed.
5. Remember the cleaning lady is coming; move the extra Christmas boxes to the spare room.
6. Size paper, wrap, tape, label.

Now how easy is that?!? Ready to wrap a second gift. After a nap perhaps.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

20 questions

Brooke said I 'had' to do this.


Words you always misspell typing: I have to watch that I get "manager" rather than "manger," but it's really because that second "a" is taxing the weakest finger (weak hand pinkie, poor thing.)

Words you don't know how to spell: If you throw an uncommon word at me, I might blow it, but otherwise not a problem.

Things that really annoy you: Self-centered people -- really suck the life out of me.

What's that meal you can always eat over and over again? None. I'm fine with leftovers, don't get me wrong. But the third night of something is really pushing it.

Do you brush your teeth at night? Yup, floss too!

Dumbest movie ever: Me and Irene was weird-dumb. Pulp Fiction (I know some people like it) was bad enough that we only watched 30 minutes or less.

What's a song that you would be embarrassed to admit you really like? Embarrassed, no. But you could try to rib me about "Bare Necessities" from the Jungle Book!

Are you capable of eating an entire bag of candy in one sitting and not feeling THAT sick? No, assuming you're talking about a multi-pack like a pound of mini-Snickers. But a regular serving size bag of Peanut M&M's - sure I could do that.

Do you love sea food? Yes, though getting restaurants to get the salt just right can be a challenge.

When you fix meat, are you anal about what you've touched, and sanitize a lot? Yes. I turn the kitchen tap on first because I know I'm going to want hot water in a minute.

Do you put your leftovers in the fridge after dinner in fear of it spoiling or can you wait? After dinner, of course.

Do you use a sponge or rag to wipe your counters? Depends. If it's related to wiping up meat juices, I'll get a paper towel so I can toss it.

What's your favorite Holiday? Does Saturday count ? ; )

What's your favorite pie? Hmm, apple, pumpkin, very good. But marionberry is da' man!

What's your favorite candy bar? Used to be Snickers. Not so much candy bars these days, but a charity selling See's dark chocolate with almonds can sucker me in.

When you pick something up at the store and change your mind, do you put it away? Yes. But I seldom pick up something that wasn't planned for, so I'm not changing my mind.

Do you like raisins in your Cinnamon rolls? Yes. But I prefer them un-raisined. And I really prefer them unfrosted.

Do you shower every day? Every single morning. I don't feel awake until I've showered.

Are your dreams scary? No, though I don't remember them much.

Do you like scary movies? Not my favorite. Mysteries yes, but I think that's different.

Do you like roller coasters? So-so. Brooke made us be in the first car of on that went straight up, then around a loop the other direction and stopped for a moment -- we were facing straight down, with nothing between us and the ground (some 40 feet down?)

Do you have a fear of needles? I'm okay, but still best if I don't watch the stick. And remember to breath.

What's your guilty pleasure TV show? I don't think "Bones" qualifies as guilty pleasure.

What is something you're really stuck up about? I have the cutest, happiest, baby granddaughter.

When you're at a restaurant, can you ask questions about the food? Yes.

Are you a lake or a river person? Ocean. Puget Sound and Canadian Gulf Island passages. Oh, and British Virgin Islands. And Hawaiian Pacific.

Are you a good swimmer? Just enough that I could stay alive for a long time.

Do you like to camp? Used to. It's been a long time since we've really roughed it.

Do you like rodents? Isn't the definition of rodent something like "the weed of mammals, nobody likes, and everyone wants to get rid of?"

Are you afraid of spiders? No. They get smooshed when I see them, but not because I'm afraid.

If you could be an amazing singer or dancer, which would you be? Singer.