My dark post

Warning: I know in advance this is going to be a dark post. If you want light and breezy, go to a different day than this one. I just have to unload these thoughts. Then I can return to blah-blah-blog tomorrow.

I had an opportunity to talk to one of my (many) cousins yesterday, and we ended up on the topic of dads -- and sometimes moms -- who don't stay around. She was one of the kids who went through it, as did mine.

Then on the way home, the radio news was talking about the latest domestic violence homicide. I think it was the fifth time in about five weeks all in Washington County. Every time these start up again, these waves of violence, I'm taken back to early 1989 when I was divorcing, and I wasn't feeling safe, and the county had three murder-suicides within two months. I even went to our security department and my agency director to tell them there was a possibility of trouble. Not probable/likely, just possible. They told me, more than once, if I felt like things were turning bad, to not even think about staying, but to get out of the house and just get away, deal with it later.

As a community, I hope we can get that message out. If you know someone whose relationship is on the edge, tell her (or maybe 'him') to find a safe place. I told a co-worker once that her niece, who was getting a restraining order, could come to my place anytime with no notice. I had never met her, so it would have been difficult for him to trace her. She didn't have to take me up on the offer.

And we need to get a message out to the guys. This message really has to come from other guys, and it goes something like this: "Dude, this is not a case of win or lose. Yeah, maybe this is a change you didn't ask for, and yeah maybe it sucks. But don't get all butt-ugly attitude on us, don't embarrass yourself, and don't go breaking things or hurting people cuz it ain't gonna make it any better. If you think you're losing your mind, come talk to us and we'll share our limited brains with you, and figure out what you need to do to move forward."

I don't know how guy-speak really works, so consider that a working draft.

I could talk more on the subject (example: we lost a co-worker about five years ago to a murder-suicide), but this is more than enough.

Back to your normal programming tomorrow. If you stuck with it, thanks for reading.

Nicknames

Looking at my last post, N8 is Nate, if you hadn't figured it out. B3 (more on her later) also calls him Neighbor, Nate-Bear, Bear. So today the topic is nicknames.

First, what is the source of the word "nickname?" Middle English, about 1400 or so, "an ekename" became misdivided in speech to "a nekename" or "a nickname." Eke is to stretch out, as in eke out a living. An ekename was an additional name, but can also be thought of as economizing as we so often shorten the name.

First: my name and nicknames. Dad bestowed the Julie = Hoolie = Hooligan moniker. When people ask, "were you really a hooligan," my stock answer is, "Well, I'm not the one who put cars in ditches!" Another nickname is Jewels, most fondly coming from my Aunt Char.

Brother Bill is William, Billy, JR. The cousins still call him Billy. In high school, a neighbor dubbed him JR because he was too old to be a Billy any more, and of course he was a junior, so two Bill's in one house was two-too confusing.

Lordy, so what do I do but name my first son Bill! In family referencing, when someone needed to distinguish him, he became "Little Bill." Still Bill to me, definitely not little at 32 years old and about six feet tall! And with three kids start with the letter "B," my shorthand for Bill is B1 (not to be confused with thiamin!).

Brother Michael has always been just Michael. Not Mike. A couple of cousins used to enjoy going back to school after the holidays, when they could say, "I had dinner with Michael Jackson." Oh, and add to the confusion that brother Michael is married to Julie Ann, and I'm married to a Mike!

Husband Mike is usually just Mike. Sometimes Mikey.

Son Benjamin is Ben. B2 (not to be confused with riboflavin). Like most kids, his in-trouble name was the long version. You know, to get attention, it's "BEN-ja-min." But the I'm-running-out-of-patience is "Ben-ja-MIN." Some of the fun versions are Benny, Benjer, Ben-german (he has more of the German look from his Grandpa George).

Daughter Brooke is mostly just Brooke, B3 (not to be confused with niacin). Brookie, the rookie of the family, the youngest. Lots of fun to have discovered the brand "Brookie's Cookies." N8 just calls her "B."

Scott has also been known as Scooter (Scott R). Dianne used Scotty once in a while.

Dianne sometimes gets lengthened to "Di-ann-ie." Brooke calls her monkey (I don't remember the origin, back in middle school I think).

Granddaughter "C" could have many short versions of her name, the long version is always used.

Grandson Ender is named after the hero in the book series "Ender's Game." That character's given name was Andrew. We'll see what nicknames develop over time -- he's only two months old.

Nate's 30th birthday

N8 turns 30 next week, and "B3" is collecting stories (goal: 30 stories). He doesn't blog or read blogs, so I figured it would be safe to post my thoughts here. Ssh, don't tell.

I have more of an observation than a specific story. I appreciate that N8 is very handy. He and Brooke helped her Grandma so much while they stayed with her, from installing a retractable screen door to mowing and pool maintenance. Their own house has been an incredible project for almost a year; I'm especially impressed with the wall-removal, railing-install craftsmanship. Brooke found someone who's a bit like her Grandpa, and I mean that as a compliment to Nate! Love you, and happy birthday!

Thanksgiving and forgettin' stuff

Our family Thanksgiving tradition: forgetting something.

I know that the only people reading this already know the secret. But somewhere in posterity it needs to be recorded and will become very important. Or not.

For Thanksgiving dinner, something is always forgotten. Not on purpose. There's so much food, it is just not missed. The rolls were left warming in the oven. Or the vegetable was still in a steaming pan on the turned-off stove (amidst other now-empty pans). Or Ben's vegan dumplings never made it out of the freezer.

So this week was the usual routine. Made cranberry sauce on Sunday. Mike went through all of it by tonight, so I made another batch.

Last night tried a new recipe for a sweet potato - pineapple bake. Pretty easy, healthier than the brown sugar - marshmallow concoctions. We'll see how it goes over.

Tonight I also prepared a breakfast casserole to put in the oven first thing in the morning (Scott and Helen are spending the night before continuing on to Salem tomorrow).

Made a vegan pumpkin pie. Then as I was taking it out of the oven and sliding in the apple pie, I thought, "Darn, I was supposed to make a regular pumpkin pie too. What was I thinking? So should I make it tonight? Tomorrow morning, but will it set up in time?"

Then, "Oh, yeah, we already have it. We bought one of Costco's this year." doh.

Called Ben to see which basting he wanted for the Tofurkey (he chose the orange juice - soy sauce).

So I continued on with a new recipe for a fruit salad. Had to cut up a fresh pineapple, which is a pain. Then two mangoes, which are just the worst. Then two kiwi, but someone finally told me the trick on those. Don't try to peel the stupid little bugger. Cut it in half (around the "equator" so to speak), then scoop it out with a spoon.

Tomorrow I'm sure I will remember to pack all of that, along with the fixings for the green salad, veggies for Ben's meal, the three types of whipped toppings, napkins.

For now, I'm off to slumberland.

Happy Thanksgiving to all! I'm ready to kick back and enjoy 'the kids' company.

It's Easy Bein' Green

Yes, I'm challenging Kermit the Frog. It is easy being green. Or at least, it's easy to start being greener step by step. I'm a little better than some, but I will admit right here what I do and don't do:
I do recycle like crazy.
I don't cut back on buying stuff as much as I probably could.
I used to ride the bus and bike for more than 50% of my commute miles
I don't ride the bus right now (weather, time, change in routes/timing, emergencies with Mike) nor commute on the bike (same things, plus it's dark and I had a couple of close calls last year that convinced me to wait again until spring)
I do drive a hybrid
I don't have an alternative to the diesel pickup for pulling the fifth wheel trailer, at 11 mpg
I do compost food scraps into my home-made worm bin ("C" and I built)
I don't grow all my own food
I do have a solatube for an interior bathroom (LOVE it)
I don't have solar power or solar hot water yet (except the fifth wheel has a solar panel)
I do use tap water (not bottled water)
I don't have a good routine for buying local, seasonal food
I do have solar accent lights around the back yard
I don't have xeriscaping (taking out grass and putting in drought resistant, native plants)
I use non-phosphate dish and laundry soaps
I still have plenty of other chemicals around

Oh, that reminds me, gotta go. I saw that Mike threw some empty pill containers in the trash. I need to move them to the recycle bags!

C's birthday

So granddaughter "C's" birthday party was yesterday. She really has a BIRDday birthday this year (on Thanksgiving), but she will be with her mom, plus there's the whole holiday interfering with friends schedules thing. We went to Tony Starlights, where they were having a Johnny Mercer tribute (wrote "Moon River," "Tangerine," "Jeepers Creepers," and a hundred others). And the night was also a benefit for the NW Down Syndrome Association.

Oh, why do I use the "C" for her name? Just for protection. I mean, no one is reading this blog anyway (Hi, Amy!) but she is a minor and there are creeps out there. I trust her dad is watching her facebook settings.

Back to the celebration. Lots of fun. She was pulled up on stage right away to be recognized, and she got to play percussion for one song. Okay, it was a cowbell, and she hit it three times when he signaled her. "I'm an old cowhand from the Rio Grande." Yee-haw!

'Nuf for today; gotta take out the garbage. Maybe tomorrow I will post an antithesis to Kermit the Frog, because I believe it IS easy being green. Curious? Stay tuned.

Oh Mom: I changed the settings for comments so you can leave it as anonymous if you can't get it to work right for you. And I took off the "word verification" routine. So give it a shot again.

Oprah who?

Honestly, I can't say I ever watched an Oprah show. Yes, I know who she is, of course. But since I work, talk shows in general are just not my thing. I am not against her show, and more power to what I understand Oprah has done in getting people to read, taking control of their own lives, taking care of others.

In general I am not into girly stuff. Or so-called women's magazines. Or shopping. Or hanging out with six women where five are talking at once (what is WITH that?). Or 3" heels -- I'm already 5'7" and my husband is shrinking to the point where he's an inch shorter than me.

Mom said once, "With Julie, what you see is what you get."

I'll take that as a compliment!

Employment

Brooke works at Oregon's Employment Department. So I am inspired to write about employment today.

Oregon's unemployment numbers were released Monday (11.2%) and Washington's numbers yesterday (9.3%). We in Clark County have the unenviable, #1 unemployment in Washington state: 13.7%. In part that means our residents are still looking for work (Oregon reported a flat trend, they said, because many people have given up).

Our county government is hurting. We are going through another round of cuts. Does it impact me? Only that our pay is still frozen. I've had two years at the same pay, and next year will be the same. But at least I'm still working and have insurance coverage. I know three people in one department were terminated last week. A woman I know in another department will lose her position at the end of this month. One woman in our larger department of the Auditor's Office is seeing her position cut in six months, but she has been cross-training and filling in for someone who is on disability leave, and that person will probably take permanent disability soon.

It would have been very easy to cut the three of us who are internal auditors. Mike and I would have been fine. Luckily people see value in the work we do, so I'm going to keep earning that respect, repaying the honor of serving all county managers and the citizens of the county by doing my best work every day. I'm not the one to turn to for touchy-feely, morale building, or hand holding. But give me a task, and I will get it done. Maybe with some dry humor thrown in.

Aging in place

One of my goals in this blog is to stay away from whining on and on about health issues. I have read other people's TMI emails / postings and asked, "Wow, what were they thinking in posting all that stuff?"

[If you are thinking in horror that you sent me an update and I reacted with the above question, then you probably did NOT send too much information. It's the clueless folks who don't see themselves as pushing the edges of social ineptitude.]

Yet I cannot ignore the fact that Mike has Parkinson's. As we looked to move to Clark County, our number one criteria in buying a home was for a single story. I told Brooke that we would only stay in the house we finally bought for two years or so, because of the front steps. She said "what steps?" There are three sections that have two steps each, which you don't even notice if you're a 'regular' person. You just walk up the walkway. Brooke reminded me of this story recently, as we were comparing stories of when the limited mobility really sunk in.

Lately I've thought a lot about the need to plan for aging in place. Mike's daughter, Dianne, has a degree in health care administration, emphasis in long-term care. I'm hoping she can give me ideas of what we need to think about. There are a lot of different scenarios. More immediately, we need to have a plan in place if something happens to me, even short term (say, I blow out my knee again).

Side note: when I mentioned this to Mike, his response was, "Well, you have been keeping lots of healthy food on hand. I open the fridge and you have things like grapes, sugar-free jell-o, yogurt."

"Wow, Mike, I'm really not talking about food."

That is as far as we got.

So if you have tips and resources, bring 'em on.

Beaver Football

Our home season is over, and thank goodness for decent weather. The first game had showers right up to game time, but then stopped for all of the play. In our regular seats it wouldn't matter, because those are under cover. The wheelchair seating is much lower (row 39 instead of 63), but just into the rain exposure.

I'm also thankful for the special ADA shuttles with the wheelchair lift. We had the same driver (out of three possible) for all but one run; I think her name is Kimberly.

Go Beavs!

Here's me being quiet for a couple of days

No blogging for a couple of days. Off to the Beavers last home game tomorrow!

Miracle cure for baggy eyes?

So yesterday I went for a facial. As Angela was doing "magic stuff" around my eyes, she said, "This will help with puffiness and bags."

"Really," I asked, "it's a miracle cure to help Mike sleep all night so I can sleep?"

The boss's hubby

My boss, Linda, called yesterday morning. She was scheduled to be at the VA all day with her husband's appointments. When I saw her number on my phone, I picked up with, "Hey, you're not supposed to be thinking about work today."

"Well," she said, "we're being admitted."

Obviously Vince was being admitted, "But it feels like us." I don't have permission to disclose what he was going through, but his chest pain was not from a recurrence of pneumonia. So Linda was a bit put out, especially since she had tried to get VA to see him a week ago.

My hubby came to the office at 4:00 because we had a flu shot clinic (regular seasonal flu, not H1N1 yet). Afterwards, we trondled off to the VA campus. What an adventure. First I had to unload the wheelchair and leave Mike at the front door while I figured out parking. Then there was no information desk open, so we had to ask at Emergency where to find Vince.

[side story: Vince last name: Richard. Mike last name: Ramsby. So as we are leaving the E-room, who are the calling next? Richard Ramsey. I kid you not.]

They are very concerned about the flu up there. Signs, "Restricted Access. No visitors under 15." Surgical masks available. Hand sanitizer every other step. The wing we were going to had three doors, and it seems like each were labeled, "Restricted, use other door." Anyway, we finally found them, he's looking good. He's an active 80 year old, by the way. Mike and I left in time to still use the carpool lane on I-5 north (hey, that can be a whole blog). Went to Olive Garden for dinner, then home in time for NCIS.

Anyway, think happy thoughts for Linda and Vince. Linda can always use any "calm Karma" you send her way -- ooh, another future blog!

Do I really have anything to say?

So what in the world can I blog about? All our great kids, of course. Gardening, but everything's dormant now. Work, but that might turn into whines. Holidays -- need to get Thanksgiving figured out, and also remember birthdays for Christine, Ben, Nate, Sonja, and Dianne before year end. Ooh, weight loss, always an exciting topic. Do you want to vote? Anyone out there besides Brookster?