My dark post

Warning: I know in advance this is going to be a dark post. If you want light and breezy, go to a different day than this one. I just have to unload these thoughts. Then I can return to blah-blah-blog tomorrow.

I had an opportunity to talk to one of my (many) cousins yesterday, and we ended up on the topic of dads -- and sometimes moms -- who don't stay around. She was one of the kids who went through it, as did mine.

Then on the way home, the radio news was talking about the latest domestic violence homicide. I think it was the fifth time in about five weeks all in Washington County. Every time these start up again, these waves of violence, I'm taken back to early 1989 when I was divorcing, and I wasn't feeling safe, and the county had three murder-suicides within two months. I even went to our security department and my agency director to tell them there was a possibility of trouble. Not probable/likely, just possible. They told me, more than once, if I felt like things were turning bad, to not even think about staying, but to get out of the house and just get away, deal with it later.

As a community, I hope we can get that message out. If you know someone whose relationship is on the edge, tell her (or maybe 'him') to find a safe place. I told a co-worker once that her niece, who was getting a restraining order, could come to my place anytime with no notice. I had never met her, so it would have been difficult for him to trace her. She didn't have to take me up on the offer.

And we need to get a message out to the guys. This message really has to come from other guys, and it goes something like this: "Dude, this is not a case of win or lose. Yeah, maybe this is a change you didn't ask for, and yeah maybe it sucks. But don't get all butt-ugly attitude on us, don't embarrass yourself, and don't go breaking things or hurting people cuz it ain't gonna make it any better. If you think you're losing your mind, come talk to us and we'll share our limited brains with you, and figure out what you need to do to move forward."

I don't know how guy-speak really works, so consider that a working draft.

I could talk more on the subject (example: we lost a co-worker about five years ago to a murder-suicide), but this is more than enough.

Back to your normal programming tomorrow. If you stuck with it, thanks for reading.