Scary, stupid, silly things

Throughout the last five months, Ayn and I have done some really weird things once in a while. We blame it on being exceptionally tired and stressed; we say we left our brains in Neuro ICU.  I didn't keep a list, so I am SURE there are many examples permanently gone in the winds of time. You understand: if I left my brain behind, then where the heck are those memories, right?

Scary: let's get these out of the way. And I've already told my Mom, so this won't freak her out. Otherwise you would see a big flashing warning of 'Mom, don't read this.' I ran a red light. Twice in fact. The first time was after the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad transfer in July. As Bill was being loaded to be taken back to OHSU emergency, the ambulance driver was very clear: "We have certain protocols, and we will be running lights and siren. But don't try to follow us. Just drive safely and we will all get there at some point, okay?" 

Ayn and I left before the ambulance. But on 82nd Avenue, they passed us. (Side note to local folks: Banfield Freeway was closed for nighttime paving, so we were on surface streets.) And I had every intention of not trying to keep up with the ambulance. Those strobing and flashing lights are annoying anyway.  Halfway through the intersection at Halsey, I realized, "Holy cow, this is a red light." Luckily the person starting to turn left, across our path, saw I was not stopping. Light traffic, 3 in the morning, and at least one aware driver.

The second time was in Northwest Portland, leaving Good Samaritan hospital. A weeknight, I believe, maybe 9:00 or so. Same sort of realization, halfway through the intersection, "That sucker was red!" Thinking back on what happened, I remembered that there are two businesses in the block, or the prior block, with neon red signs. I think in my brain the red traffic signal just melded into the red business sign. Egad.

My third example of brain-gone-scary: I accidentally took my husband's medications. One evening, around 6:00, I offered to get his next dose of meds for him. Brought them out from the bathroom, stopped at the kitchen, thinking, "I'll just fill my water bottle, because I need some water anyway, and he can use it to swallow his meds." I took a drink of water, walked the few steps to his chair, somehow swallowed his pills during those few steps, sat down the water and declared, "Oh my God, I just took your pills. I have to go try to throw up." This dose was two pills, and neither med was critical to putting me at harm. But wow. Can guardian spirits have heart attacks? Because I'm sure I am pushing the limits on my little gal. Can guardian spirits ask to be reassigned?

Stupid. Certainly my situations above qualify as stupid, but they crossed the line (way past the line) into scary. One silly-stupid example was when I needed to fax a form to an insurance company. We were at OHSU, and we could have faxes sent from the nurses station. I walked everything over, and asked her if she could return the papers to us when it was finished, "We are in room 805." She looked at the paper and at the status board behind me, seeming very confused, so I apologized, "I'm sorry, I told it was okay to have faxes sent from here."  She said, "805? Not room 26?" Oh man, she was right. 805 was Bill and Ayn's apartment number at the time.  A good laugh was had by all.

Silly. The best "silly" comes from Ayn, so I hope this is okay to share. While Bill was at Good Sam, and things were going well, Ayn texted me one evening. "I left the room to go get something from the cafeteria. I was thinking how well Bill is doing and he's going home soon. The cashier asked 'How are you this evening' and I said 'I love you.'!"